So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
