also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love you.
Bad choice
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