last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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