the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
