Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
