I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Be still, my beating vagina.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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