Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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