i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
