I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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