help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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