Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I yelled at your uterus for you.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
