Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
