addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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