i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
