woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize