We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
