11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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