I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
