I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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