Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
