My nipple is on Facebook.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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