um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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