We won't sleep together?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
