I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
