The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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