She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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