like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
