yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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