i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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