Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
