theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
