Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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