i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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