his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?