Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
