Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
