Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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