i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
