How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
