I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
