ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
