i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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