I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I still have a little drunk in my system
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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