I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
