Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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