Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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