I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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