Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
