For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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