i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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