I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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