Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
