he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize