Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
