So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
