i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
