I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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