Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Never joke about your clitoris.
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