he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
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Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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