I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
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After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
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You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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