bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
