Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
