Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
