So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
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You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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