just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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