STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
