Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
