Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Also, beer. Big fan.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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