he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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