Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So much rum. So many feels.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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